2002-09-11 - 11:07 a.m.

musiK: Rasputina-Cabin Fever

why does it feel like the past few days just seems to blur into eachother. just a jumbled mix of things. I hope the whole semester isn't like this. I'm having trouble keeping the days straight.

Lately things have been super good. too good. I was starting to get worried and over*thinking every little thing. Why do I always do that to myself? ah but most of my worries have seemed to flutter away. now I'm just left with stupid smiles, and constantly feeling anxious. I'm always looking hours ahead. maybe thats why things seem to blur. I'm not in the present. like right now. I'm thinking of last night with caustic and also about how I wish this day would go by quicker, so I can see him again. *laugh* I know. I am getting to intense. but isn't that what you're supposed to be? I mean isn't that the whole joy of it all? all the new*ness and excitement. daydreaming, wishing and being distracted? ... I know I'm letting some things go either undone or ignored... I've been feeling very creative but *laugh* hmm paints or boy? both are fun, but that boy is... yummy. I can't wait for later tonight! *laugh* hmmm...do you think I need a life? nope. cuz this is more of a life than I had before! I'm such an extreme person. its either all or nothing.

thinking of what to wear tonight to fiction... I don't even know whats clean or dirty. I have an idea or two. hmm I will definatly need to nap before I go to modeling/parting. and I guess I have to get back to school stuff. ick. why isn't today over yet?!