2002-09-09 - 11:43 a.m.

musiK: Depeche Mode

fitness class was a joke. we did a bunch of tests and measurements. yes I know I need to loose 10 lbs. I'd like to lose 20. but I fear thats a difficult goal. I was very dissapointed to see that I weigh 131...I thought I lost way more than like 15 lbs. *sigh* anyway... end of girly weight rant.

so I just finished writing a paper for speech class. feeling like I'm managing my time very well. *smile* today when I get home I have to help mom finish cleaning for her party tonight. and then run out to the store to pick up the food for tonight. and then eat, take a nap and get ready for modeling. I hope I can fit my nap in there. I need it!

ah and then I get to spend a few hours naked. *laugh* and no caustic will not be there... it feels kinda odd. this past week. we saw each other on monday (boomsday) tuesday (date) wednesday(non-fictional fun) thursday (naps!) friday(just fun) saturday(fabric store) sunday(movies)... HA HA! wow...I umm had no idea. I knew it was a lot but uhh... *GRIN* I guess thats why tonight feels kinda strange. now I'm kinda embarassed. I definatly shouldn't say that I wish I could see him tonight *wink* that would be _too_ much. I say this as the cold I didn't care about catching is in full swing. ah but its the truth. I'm such a needy love*sick (get it punny ;) dork. Ahhhh... I feel like babbling about things. the great little and not so little things. I love that he listens. it makes talking seem worthwile. I love how his heart beats. (yeah I know--> thats *always* a good sign -rolling eyes) but its true. grr. I gotta get to class. but I'll end it with this one. driving, fast, taking the wheel~ while I throw my hands out the sun roof...letting my worries fly into the night air. this is the guy I need. possibly the perfect one. I hope I don't fuck this one up.