2002-08-31 - 12:52 p.m.

musik: watching moulin rouge

and listening to apop-live

*sigh* I'm 23 today. I don't feel older. I feel like there is more expected of me. I keep hearing "by the time I was _your_ age" or "I was _______ at your age"

well you know what? this is me. and I'm not going to "grow up" or "act my age" or do anything that I don't want to. if I feel like playing with bubbles or sleeping all day. so be it. as long as it makes me happy. thats where I am. the next time someone says "what are your plans for the furture?" I'll say: "to be happy"

I know what to wish for when I blow out my candles. that is...if I have a cake! I SO don't expect much for my birthday. my parents always try but they get me really off gifts. like huh? what were you thinking?! I swear...if I get jewlery I'm going to scream. kara already gave me her gifts. the awesome dress, which I'm wearing tonight. and a very pretty black velvet wrap. and the MAC make-over. *sigh* I'm so tired. and just over a lot of stuff. like school.

oh. yeah. the phone rang this morning, and I picked it up, it was grandpa. he said "Tori? Happy Birthday" and I said "thanks" and he asked how things were going...and then said "How was your date on wednesday?" and I was like WTF?!!! *sigh* so I said it went well, and he was like good. Is Kara around?

*GRRR* I so don't even feel like trying. thats why it bothers me to have Kara talk to him, telling him about my life. he should ask me himself. he should act like he gives a damn. its like I'm invisible to him or something.

I'm feeling so over*whelmed and sad knowing I'm going to be dissapointed today. ok. I have to go finish cleaning.