2002-08-27 - 1:49 a.m.

musiK: still apop! yeah I'm a dork.

On wednesday I'll be modeling for figure studies again. I'm looking forward to it but at the same time I'm nervous. nervous for the obvious reasons. all those flaws and things I dislike being shown for all to see.

tonight I stood naked in front of my long mirror. and was surprised at how good I looked. I acutally thought I looked good...but standing, turned just to the right angle is different than being stuck in a position where all your fat hangs and buldges...looking horrible.

Why am I doing this again? oh yeah--> 1. money

2. to get over issues

*sigh* trying to keep that feeling of actually liking my body for 1 min. in my head....