2002-08-24 - 4:58 a.m.

musiK: The Cure- Wish

hmm I know of at least one person who's looking forward to this update. so I'll write about 11th st. first. I got there and was glad to see so many known and liked faces. and it was strange knowing that everyone else knew... I'm still curious as to what was said in Karlaboo and erins conversation *laugh* so when caustic shows up everyone gives me these looks... and I started to feel very on the spot and exposed.... so for a while I kept my distance, Jay was very amusing asking "why are you sitting 3 chairs away from him" at which point most of the girls quieted him for being so verbal with caustic so close in hearing range. finally I attacked and covered him in glitter~ which he seemed to really hate. the first like 2 seconds I was really worried that I'd crossed some line. but he quickly seemed to laugh about it. as the night wore on~ I realized that yes, I really did like him. I'm thinking of when the next time I'll see him is going to be. we all left together in a few separate groups to our parking spots. he walked me to my car, and we hugged... and all I could think was yes, I do want to kiss him. too shy and awkward to do so... all the way home I wished I had. upon getting home and getting into bed, I still wished I had. and now, just before falling asleep --I still wish I had. its just that whole lack of confidence. and nerve. The whole situation is making me flustered. I think some risks are on the forcast. maybe.

more about the rest of my day later--I'm going to bed!