2002-08-23 - 9:49 a.m.

musiK: peter murphy- Holy Smoke cd

*sigh* I'm at school again. back in my spot as a loser and anti-social strange gurl. I had math at 7am which sucked. but at least the hour goes by very quickly. and the professor talks like Dr. Evil. I kid you not.

so I'm sitting here in the computer lab~ and my tummy is growling. like everytime I breathe. its annoying and embarrassing me. *looks around* well I guess it could be worse. I could have the hicups! ha.

so much has happened the past couple of days. lets see I left off on tuesday. I can't think of what I did wednesday-day. I just bummed around in my pjs, alternating between sleeping and being online...and thinking of doing things like cleaning my room or painting. I did talk with Mollie*bot...which was good. Its been a while since we've really talked... we're batting around her visiting in september. a combined birthdays of sorts.

MusiK: The Smiths(!)-louder than bombs cd

god. how big a dork am I? on fridays I have a 4 hour break between classes! four hours....fuck. its just kinda sick. I mean how long can I babble on in this and flutter around the net. I guess we'll find out.

--> Ok back to the update! ha ha. so I got dressed for the fiction night. I wore my kewl purple bridesmaid skirt from Noritha's wedding and a tank top that I borrowed from kara. with my white and silver fishnet stockings and boots! and too top it all off (literally) I wore a very kewl crown~ it was glittery and swirly with a pink plastic heart! yes I felt like a princess~ so I was getting ready, and saw caustic online and figured even though he swore he wasn't going to the fiction thing that I'd ask anyway. and he said sure. if I would pick him up. which brought up all those scary driving feelings. but his directions seemed follow*able so I drove down there and only kinda got lost*ish. I mean really. I was kinda close. ha~ once he was all ready we went to do some errands like the bank and filling up my car. so we get to the club~ and don't pay (because it's *caustic* --> laugh) and we hit the bar well *grr* they had no cream at the bar (wtf?) so I was pink lady*less and had to try a variety of drinks. which wasn't a bad thing. *laugh*

pretty much everyone was there. JaNell was once again quarentined for illness...but I did get to see Karlaboo which made up for sunday. she looked stunning. I loved her hair. it made me miss my long hair! Pixie girl was there. and I think she had a fabulous outfit. bear backpack and all. I hope she didn't get tired of my hanging on her! and I was glad to see her friend jennifer out. and yes the other pixie was there. we danced a few times~ but and this is the surprising part. I spent most of the night with caustic. I had the best time with him! and this is where things become interesting. He was charming and made me laugh so deeply~ we were pretty googly eyed all night *laugh* I look crazy right now...sitting in the lab grinning. *ha ha* well one might say Huh? what about this pixie boy you've been giggling over? yeah this is where it gets confusing for me. yes I like him, and yes I think he's very cute but I have major issues with the age gap. how terrible to say but I can't help it. and he makes me way too nervous. too nervous to touch even. but caustic is very personality*comfortable~ he doesnt make me feel stupid, or stupidly silly. and yes, he makes me laugh-loudly. which *does* count for a lot. the thing I'm confused over is how one, over a few days (because really sunday night he got my attention) just kinda skips and starts thinking of someone else. This whole single thing is pretty new to me. I mean is it a bad thing for my heart to be so indescisive and roaming? I'm not looking for anything terribly serious right now. but I'm curious to see how things will go with caustic. if he does show up at 11th st. tonight it proves to be interesting. and shyness is creeping up. that self*concious thing is super annoying. Grr...